You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

So stop being demented and sore and start smiling, and laugh your way out.

Be simple in words, manners, and gestures. Amuse as well as instruct. If you can make a man laugh, you can make him think and make him like and believe you.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

"Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason."

You wanna get rid of your headache while at work or listening to your wife , try this therapy..it works for me.

“The nose has a left and a right side, we use both to inhale and exhale.

“Actually they are different; you would be able to feel the difference. The right side represents the sun, left side represents the moon. During a headache, try to close your right nose, and use your left nose to breathe. In about five minutes, your headache will go.

“If you feel tired, just reverse, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is refreshed.

“The right side belongs to ‘hot,’ so it gets heated up easily, left side belongs to ‘cold.’

Most females breathe with their left noses, so they get ‘cooled off’’ faster.

“Most of the guys breathe with their right noses, they get worked up.

“My friend was unable to study. end used to have bad headaches and was always visiting the doctor. There was this period when he suffered headaches literally every night,

“He took painkillers but it did not work.

“He decided to try out the breathing therapy: Closed his right nose and breathed with his left nose.” It worked. His headache just went away.

Our Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.