How do you do (your handshake)?

What’s in grasping the hand of another? Most business folks understand that a handshake can be a key ingredient in meeting a potential client and creating a positive first impression with that person. But, do we really know why we are often given the advice to offer a firm handshake when we are growing up? We know that it does, but do we know WHY a handshake contributes immensely to the formation of a first impression? Research in the area of nonverbal behaviors suggests that there is a correlation directly between our handshake and our very personality. This might make that handshake even more important than we originally believed.

Diana Ivy and Phil Backlund, in their book GenderSpeak, remind us that being taken seriously is still an issue that haunts women job applicants more than it does men, unless those men apply for jobs in a field that has traditionally been dominated by women. One of the very first nonverbal behaviors we engage in at a job interview is the handshake. Whether male or female, we might be exposing more of our inner selves than we anticipate when we briefly clasp hands with another person.

A study published in 2000 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology notes that our personality is linked to the firmness with which we shake hands. Sure, we always knew the firm handshake was important, but here is evidence that tells us why. Research subjects who completed personality questionnaires associated with the study were not made aware that their handshakes were the key variable in the study. Each subject shook hands multiple times with researchers who would then evaluate those handshakes. Key characteristics, including strength, vigor, a complete grip, handshake duration, and eye contact, were found to determine the degree to which we tend to make a good first impression. Perhaps more importantly, personality qualities such as confidence, shyness, or neuroticism could be ascertained through that handshake. And, gendered handshakes were also included in the study.

Among the results was the finding that a firmer handshake by females can be positive, even though many women are concerned that they may appear to be overly aggressive when they use the firmer grip. Surprisingly, a man may be open to new experiences, which would be a positive personality trait, but the study found that he is more likely, then, to have a weaker handshake. The weaker handshake can then lead to a less-than-desirable first impression, despite the appropriate personality quality.

So, the sensible thing to do might seem to be changing one’s style of shaking hands. Not so fast. We learn from these researchers that the handshake is a pretty automatic thing and quite uncomfortable to change. Each of us tends to have what we feel to be a natural handshake and trying to change that natural feel can seem very strange. It would appear that our handshake is as normal to us as many of the other nonverbal behaviors we enact and that may be just how our personality comes out in meeting others. Knowing what impression we are making on others might be just as important as actually making that impression.